| Scott Peck has a wonderful
understanding of this phrase "become the most you can be". In his
book A World Waiting to be Born he describes physical health as a
process. Quote "Some part of us is always in the process of healing,
consequently the condition of health is not a static state of perfect
wellness it is among other things a condition of on going healing.
Physicians are increasingly coming to think that most disease may best be
defined as a failure of the healing process". He said this is
crucial because the principle applies not only to our physical health but
also to our mental health, and the health of our institutions and our
organizations. He continues to say that "health is an ongoing
process of becoming the most that we can be. The words health and healing
come from the same Anglo-Saxon root to be whole or holy. Becoming the most
that we can be is also the definition of salvation. The term literately
means healing as we apply a salve to the skin to heal it just as we can
learn to apply the principles of mental health to our lives to heal, to make
us whole, to save our souls."
The need for heightened awareness, growth and
development is crucial for your health physically, mentally and emotionally
through to our success as individuals and our salvation as a species. To
become the most that you can be or to fulfill our human potential is a
definition of personal development. Since I have never really come across a
definition of "personal development" I would like create one at
least for this book and to describe the perspective I am coming from. I
recall a friend once asking me; What is personal development? With out too
much thought I recall summarizing what it meant to me after reading hundreds
of books and thousands of dollars spent on seminars and work shops. I
concluded that personal development was the study of ones self, becoming
aware of my strengths and weaknesses, insecurities and false beliefs
ultimately growing to new levels of awareness and understanding. I remember
saying "Life rewards you for the problems you solve". A
quote I had on my fridge to remind me of what I needed to do when things
weren’t working out quite right. At that time solving the issues in my
life I believed would reward me with the health, happiness and income I
desired, it was true. Personal development means all of that and more.
Because the words together "personal development" don't have a
formal definition lets start with combining some definitions to see what we
come up with. I will use Webster's New Illustrated Dictionary for the
following. Lets look "personal", "development" and some
definitions of related words.
Develop: 1. to expand or bring out the potentialities or
capabilities; 2. to cause to come to completeness or perfection.
Development: 1. gradual evolution or completion; 2. also the
result of gradual evolution or completion.
Personal: 1. pertaining to or characteristic of a particular
person.
Person: 1. a human being including body and mind.
Conscious: 1. immediately aware of; mentally recognizing, to
some degree and extend, ones own inner feeling or thought, or their objective
reference.
Conciousness: 1. the state of being conscious, sensation, knowledge.
2. the power of self-knowledge, internal perception.
Conscience: 1. moral consciousness in general: the activity or
faculty by which distinctions are made between right and wrong.
Aware: 1. possessing knowledge of some fact or action;
conscious; cognizant.
Combining some of the key parts of these definitions we may get something
like this;
Personal Development: The gradual evolution or growth of a
particular person to bring out their potentialities or capabilities making
one more aware of ones own inner feelings or thought. Personal
development is definitely the gradual process of expanding ones potential
and capabilities, yes it is also the process of becoming a more fully aware
and conscious human being. This is certainly a good definition but personal
development is still more than that. Personal development is about being
sensitive, attentive, aware of your own feelings, attitudes, behaviors and working
on them, working through them growing to new awareness and
understandings. Its about becoming a more conscious being able to relate
better to yourself and others. Its about being proactive and overcoming
faults, weaknesses and insecurities which is the second point in the
definition of Develop: 1. To expand or bring out the potentialities
or capabilities; 2. to cause to come to completeness or perfection.
Personal development is noticing the subtleties that make life work well and
them that don't, its about fulfilling our human potential, creating new
realities from our mind and experiencing new experiences with all our
senses. Personal development is not something that you gain from formal
education though the process of gathering knowledge is fundamental to
growth. Personal development is about the maturing and development of our
mind. The Dalai Lama clearly expresses in the book The Art of Happiness
that training and development of the mind is crucial to happiness. Add all
of this up and personal development which may be defined as;
Personal Development is the deliberate growth or development of a
particular individual to bring out their potential and capabilities making
them more aware of their inner feelings, belief systems to become a more
conscious, whole or healthy human being .
We will settle on that definition for now and
see what we end up with as we look at how personal development applies to
various areas of life. So what does one do for personal development? What
does it look like? I have often wondered what does it really mean to engage
in personal development. I ask people if they are into personal development
in which almost all respond "yes". I then ask what they are doing
in which some look at me with a blank stare. Some will tell me of books they
are reading, classes or work shops they attended. But what I have found most
interesting is that most people, a very high percent do not seem to be
making much progress with their lives at all. Year after year they struggle
with the same issues, get beat up by the same problems and carry the same
burdens and dissatisfactions. Allow me to ask you a few questions.
- How much have you really grown over the last year or two?
- How would you know or how does one check if we have grown?
- Are you fulfilling your potential in your job, in your
relationships, in your life?
- Is it important to you to "become the best your can be"?
How about some straight forward questions.
These are questions that are answered with numbers, things you can actually
record and numerate.
- How many classes have you taken in the last year or two?
- How many books have you read? (some fiction is very valuable but I
mostly mean non-fiction)
- What does your resume look like, what can you actually write down
counting as personal or professional development?
Now to ask questions that do not have numbers
associated with them but an honest yes or no.
- Are you more successful in your job?
- Are you more successful as a parent, spouse, daughter, son or
friend?
- Do you have the same personal problems you had 1, 3 or 5 years ago?
- Are you more successful in your ability to relate to one another?
- Do you find yourself reacting to someone’s words or actions like
you did when you were a child, some wound from the past that hasn’t
healed?
- Do you find yourself held back from some fear or false belief
preventing you to move forward in life?
Now let me ask you some questions that I feel
are the ultimate result of personal development as we have defined it. These
questions can be difficult to answer and may take some careful
introspection.
- Do you have a greater understanding of yourself? Your strengths,
your weaknesses and/or character issues that affect your over all
health and well being.
- Do you have a greater understanding of others, more appreciation of
their differences and respect of them as individuals?
- Do you have more courage to face life's challenges, live by your
values and persue your goals?
- Are you a more honest person?
- Are you a more aware and conscious human being?
Ultimately having a positive answer to all the
above questions is the result of personal development according to my
definition. Being a healthier human being is what we all strive for one way
or another, consciously or unconsciously we are all moving away from pain
toward pleasure. It is time now for us to be more consciously aware of our
growth and strive to become the most that we can be, not better than someone
else but the most that we personally can be fulfilling our human potential
and contributing our uniqueness to making this world a better place. The
following chapters will conclude with an application to help us in this
process of growth which will be summarized in the last chapter to make for a
good personal development plan to move us forward with confidence and
courage in this journey of life.
From Success to Salvation Personal Development is the
Issue!
The
Serenity Prayer
“Oh God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time.”
Reinhold Niebuhr |