Goals; The Fuel of Life |
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I had a friend who just returned from Hawaii and he shared with me the
10 Hawaiian rules to live by: There are some good rules in there, but #5-- the un-aimed arrow never misses. Well it never hits anything either. You've got to have those goals. "One ship sails east, one ship sails west, regardless of the wind that blows. It is the set of the sail, not the gale that determines where we go" I was particularly fascinated with Scott Peck’s book "A World Waiting to be Born". In it he describes physical health as a process. We creatures are always being subjected to little nicks and bruises, pimples and bug bites and besieged by hordes of alien bacteria and viruses. Some part of us is always in the process of healing, consequently the condition of health is not a static state of perfect wellness. It is among other things, a condition of ongoing healing. Physicians are increasingly coming to think that most disease may best be defined as a failure of the healing process. The point that health is not so much the absence of disease as it is the presence of an optimal healing process is crucial for understanding our lives. He said this is crucial because the principle applies not only to our physical health but also to our mental health, and the health of our institutions and our organizations. Since we can not define disease as the presence of pain, so we can not define health as the absence of disease . Simply, health is an ongoing process of becoming the most that we can be. The words health and healing come from the same Anglo-Saxon root to be whole or holy. Becoming the most that we can be is also the definition of salvation. The term literately means healing. Just as we apply a salve to the skin to heal it, so we can learn to apply the principles of mental health to our lives to heal, to make us whole, to save our souls. (My comments to Peck) I believe that is the purpose of mankind-- to grow, to become the most that we can be, and this comes from the process of striving for a goal. Is that not the purpose of an infant? To just grow physically and mentally, and not be burdened by the cares and worries of an adult. Of course. It is also the purpose of an adult. We may stop growing physically at one point but we are never to stop growing mentally or spiritually. It has been said that if you are not growing you are dying. The mind is a goal-striving machine. It does not decipher the difference between perception or reality. It has no bias to succeed or fail. It understands no limits, but acts upon what we tell it or how it is programmed. One of the fundamental principles of success is the clarity of a goal. To program the conscious and subconscious mind is a powerful thing and I feel it is one of the most neglected tools in our journey of growth. Goals equip us to overcome the obstacles or that pull of life that seems to want to drag us down and prevent us from fulfilling our true human potential. How much pain and suffering could be prevented if we were to learn the basic principles and life skills. The art of setting goals is one of the foundational principles that so few of us learn, a skill that is rarely taught and used in becoming the most that we can be. Peck continues to say that psychotherapy would be the easiest profession and most enjoyable if it were not for a single reality. Resistance-- the resistance to change. I sense this to be accurate, for as he said, many people enter psycho- therapy desiring change, and then as soon as therapy starts they act as if it is the last thing in the world they want to do. Though this may be true, I do not feel that people resist change because that is exactly what growth is, continuous change. Business guru Peter Senge said it more accurately, "People don’t resist change, they resist being changed" or as another man said "I love to learn. I just don’t like being taught". This resistance comes from the uncertainty of what lies ahead. If a goal is properly set, it lays out a plan of activities to achieve the desired result. When a plan is well-defined, then we are able to see the future and usually the result is motivation and excitement to press ahead and change. A goal gives us the ability to borrow from the future to act in the present. As the quote goes "Where there is no hope for the future, there is no power for the present." A well-detailed plan which is the critical part of proper goal setting helps us to see a future that compels us forward. In "Man’s Search for Meaning" (p.115/116) according to logotherapy we can discover the meaning of life in three different ways: 1) by creating work or doing a deed. I feel strongly about this understanding, because it is practical, and down to earth and everybody experiences this. One problem I see, is too many people seek purpose and meaning in subjects that are too big, too deep, too multi-dimensional and too paradoxical to find a suitable answer. Subjects like God, prayer and many of the psychological struggles that people have. In these cases, the best thing is to persevere along the process of growth and understanding for which goals are the best vehicle. Many of us miss the practical things like a goal that can provide purpose, meaning and direction for one's life. The fiction book, Celestine Prophecy, has some good advice when a priest advised a man that "the problem in life isn’t finding the right answer but identifying our current questions." Most people never become true individuals able to fully think for themselves. Carl Jung labeled the process individuation and claimed it to be the very goal of psychological development. It is a goal most of us never fully reach, because most of us never really have that goal anyway. I call this personal development which is the maturing of an individual. It is the raising our level of awareness. (Quote) Albert Einstein, "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them" Personal development is the vehicle and setting the goal is the fuel. Part of my daily routine allows me the opportunity to listen to Dr. Laura and Dr. Joy Brown, the 2 very popular radio psychologists. Most of the calls are from people who have a lack of clarity of what they want, which leads them to act on feelings instead of objective reality, which a little thought on paper would solve. Often they are advised to see a professional counselor. I think to myself, they don’t need a counselor. They need to sit down with my goal planner which will clearly answer 90% of their problems and the rest can be worked out with a professional therapist. I do not believe a good therapist wants to waste valuable time with a person that doesn’t have a clue what they want. In "Man's Search for Meaning, an Introduction to Logotherapy" by Viktor E. Frankl, I was most impressed when I began to study his suggestion that the search for meaning is the primary motivation in man's life. For life to be rewarding and fulfilling it must have purpose and meaning. To have purpose and meaning we must have direction. We must have goals. Frankl quoted Fredrick Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" Part one goes through life in a concentration camp with the personal experiences and effects on the human mind in such a situation. (Auschwitz, Dachau) Dr. Frankl spoke about finding meaning in such horrible conditions. Later (Page 80/81) he began to see that those who could not get past the external circumstances and use this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually and beyond one's self and develop inner strength, to those that closed their eyes and dwelt on the past, life became meaningless. He went on to talk about the inner strength one could have by pointing out to him a future goal and made note "It is peculiar that man can only live by looking to the future." This is why I choose the title of this talk, "Where there is no vision the people perish." We have got to have those goals. My personal story: After 4 years of being fully committed to a leading mainstream church here in the lower mainland, I began to question the mindset that didn't permit questions, and began an in-depth study of Judaism and Catholic thinking and beliefs. As I listened to several rabbis and theologians, I believed what they said and after several days and much frustration, I threw the books aside and cried out, if theologians can’t agree where does it leave someone like myself. I looked up at my mission statement and reflected on the goals that created it and felt a sense of peace as I said to myself "Its okay" I have purpose, meaning and direction for my life and I can continue to struggle through this process of growth and understanding. (Page 111/112) Frankl tells us problems with boredom, using the term existential vacuum, is causing more problems than stress. Not knowing what to do with spare time leads many to sexual immorality, depression, aggression, addiction and many traces of suicide can be traced back to this phenomenon. "An idle mind is the devils work shop!" is an old saying. Personally, I have never met a man or woman who struggled with purpose and meaning, that had clear defined goals. Goals are the fundamental life skill that fewer than 90% of the population posses. In closing I would like to suggest that much of this talk referred to principles such as: growth as a process, becoming whole or holy, becoming the most that we can be, internal programming, idea of a clear vision, the negative implications of idleness-- to which goals are the answer. In my experience it is a lack of direction that cause most of the problems and prevent the healing that many so desperately need. Too many people try to go forward looking in the rearview mirror, which causes such slow growth and a crash at every corner, and which causes people to give up, and feel their problem is too big or too complex to resolve. Visit www.lifegoalsplanner.com for more details on goals, goal setting and finding your major definite purpose.
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